change can be scary...especially when you know change is needed but aren't yet sure what it will mean and where you are headed....you just KNOW it has to happen. you know when you are done with something...or when it's time to move on...or when you need to stop eating meat (for example, like I did last year). i tend to linger on with something until it is absolutely necessary for me to leave or walk away from it...it has not only run it's course, but run ME ragged trying to force what doesn't feel right anymore.
i've been entertaining myself with wild daydreams....letting my mind wander where it wants to go without restrictions from my so called "realistic" self. i have found i have BIG ones....i see myself doing all sorts of things ...things i will probably always ache to do if i don't in some form or another pursue them. i can daydream all i want about "being a rockstar" (not really but playing music for others, yes) , but that has no chance of even remotely coming true until i learn how to play at least ONE instrument fully. ...the same goes for the daydreams about fly fishing in rivers, traveling the world taking photographs, etc etc. YES, these are all daydreams i have and true desires that are instilled in me from who knows where but they are there...and i discredit a part of me by ignoring them.
so there you have it.