i'm not exactly sure why my body keeps waking me up at 3:45am each morning but it does. what is it called...the bewitching hour or something? either way, I am wide awake and no chance of falling back asleep. usually I lay in the dark about 15 minutes trying to lull the muse back to slumberland, but to no avail. 4am hits and I go start coffee. 4:15 I finally give in and take my glasses off and put my contacts in. 4:30am and my computer is on and here I am writing with a hot mug of coffee.
I have books stacked and lined up on my nightstand...aka two old antique wood crates stacked. every time I open my computer I feel my books judging me...when I pick up my phone I can feel their icy glares.
I have a cat that has a purr that could send the world into a state of peace it has never known. this cat's purr is so enthusiastic and with such intensity that I can't imagine hate living in it's presence.
my body has been aching for yoga....almost with an ache of a long lost lover...as if my bones, my muscles, my soul already knows how it will shape and shift and slide into each lone void... how it knows this I do not know. but it knows. my shoulders whisper to me to drop...to loosen them up...to relax. my hips urge me to stretch and give them space. my spinal cord desires extension...and my back?...my back longs to arch and curve and be like a cat. I give my body a salutation and calm it's urgencies ...I tell it to wait just a bit longer and I will give it the time it needs...so I take it for walks...I hoop...I dance....but no, it's not enough it says....and so I find myself typing in "yoga for beginners" on youtube...."see body, see, I am doing something ...I am googling yoga....."......I glance at my nightstand and feel a shudder.....so I pour my hot coffee down my gullet to warm myself from the chill and begin another day.