Sunday, September 26, 2010
you know those days that you feel like you just "have it"? .....like it doesn't even matter if you do or don't have "it" figured out, you are alive and even with the life struggle you are just happy to be here, creating, loving, having the opportunity to try try again.
......and THEN there are the days that you wake up questioning everything, doubting what it is you are here for, feeling like you aren't making enough impact or difference in this life...."what are you even doing, does it even matter, who cares, i'm not doing enough, i'm tired of this" feeling.....
push and pull. rise and fall. up and down. left to right. zigzag, here and there.
the thing is.....it doesn't matter if we get it "right"...........we will never figure "it" out..........once you learn to accept those bad days, the questioning and doubting ones, and push through them anyway....THEN you have "it" within your grasp.
there is no perfect formula. we have to figure out how to live in our own way. for some getting out of a funk might be surrounding yourself with loud, fun, sociable people.....for others it is sitting in solitude, reflecting, getting centered.
my point is ....QUIT COMPARING YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE. you are you.....and thank god for that. no one is going to do it like you......just for the reason that no one else IS you. give yourself a break.....learn to love yourself........love your creations....you paintings.....your children (because let's face it...that is the greatest creation of all)......love your home.....your style.....the way you part your hair......your skin color......your freckles......your big feet and gangly legs.......love your loud laugh.....your accent.....love the way you can't stay mad even if you want to.....love all your quirks and what some, even yourself, might call your weaknesses....a lot of times our "weaknesses" are often strengths, we just haven't begun seeing them that way yet.
with my latest ventures, i have gotten criticism.....encouragement.....a lot of yays, but also a lot of 'why are you doing that'............................it doesn't matter. i do what i want......i have to do what feels right to me.......i haven't talked a lot about what i am about to say, just because it's private...and it involves me and life force, spirit, God...whatever you want to call that "it" energy that IS life and all of creation......
so much of what i base my decisions on...the big ones, are directly related to the life force i feel inside of me....where i feel guided.....i trust this feeling immensely......mainly because it's never a selfish guidance.....it is from the same place that as a kid, i used to say i wanted to buy all the land in the world so the homeless people and animals could have a home.....it's from the same place where that immense amount of love pours out and sometimes i just feel like hugging someone i am talking to......it's from the same place that makes me feel like jumping out of my skin and dancing when an african drum beat plays........i will NEVER doubt this force. it is everything good and pure within me......it is a higher power. it took me a long time to recognize and make this force the main part of my life....it took me a long time to tune into the station and frequency that this force comes from.....and it took me even longer to trust it without doubt.
so i say to all the naysayers out there.....listen to your own station, and leave mine alone.
Monday, September 20, 2010
what makes your soul dance?
what moves you to tears?
what makes your soul feel like it could just burst out from your body in excitement and joy?
if you don't know these things about yourself, discover them...learn....find out. it's valid to living a full rich life.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
NEVER be afraid to get messy or wet or break the rules within reason......do all you can to have fun.
play with abandon.
splash each other with water faucets.
splash yourself with water faucets.
have fun by yourself.
have fun with others.
don't fear looking silly or childish.
wear glitter. wear rainbows. wear whatever you want.
lay on your back and look at the sky.
dance to the 80s. dance to motown. dance to whatever makes you happy.
eat cotton candy.
Friday, September 17, 2010
No matter which road I travel, I want my life to be a life of service....giving back....making it count....doing what I need to do in order to feel alive and connected with the world around me.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measles-pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
~Mary Oliver, When Death Comes
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Small gradual changes....that's what it's about.....things don't happen overnight....
I know for me, the idea of changing my life...my habits...."saving the world"....used to be overwhelming. I had this idea in my head that I wanted something big to happen or change NOW...that instant....it never works that way.
This could be a long winded post...but I will try to keep it simple. SO many thoughts have been running through my head that I want to express....so much I am learning that I just want to put out there for everyone to read and let it change their lives possibly....but this is the part of being overwhelmed I was talking about a minute ago.....
I believe we can do our best "teaching" by example...by living our own lives in accordance with what we believe to be true.....change is collective individuals each trying to make a difference in their own lives.....it doesn't happen overnight.....one person tells one persons tells one person....and so on and so on.
The more we expose ourselves to new ideas...good positive ideas...the more they become ingrained in our every day lives...learn learn learn and then keep learning more. Question what is put before you....challenge ideas that don't sit well with how you believe life should be....ask what is in your food...where it came from...who grew it.....become as involved as possible in your children's education....ask what they are learning about....practice compassion with every living thing....respect the world around you.....
I, for one, have always had issues with eating meat....I go back and forth for different reasons....
I think it's important to become aware of how each food you consume makes you feel.....study what you eat.....become aware......just as alcohol can make you feel drunk, how is your food affecting your body? .....
anyway, these are just some ideas flowing through my life.....more and more I realize I need to become WAY more aware of what I'm actually surrounding myself with daily...what we all are allowing in our world....
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
awaken your soul.
strive to attain more patience, compassion, kindness, generosity rather than material possessions.
have as much fun as possible without hurting anyone or anything.
"may your actions be beautiful prayers".........let your life be of service for the greater good.....find joy doing it.
environmentally friendly movie - Go Further (watch it on Netflix instant play)
inspiring music by Indie Arie - I Choose
thought- provoking website Soul Pancake by Rainn Wilson
Why are we here? Are you living your life the way you want? What do you think happens after our body leaves *this* life?
Are you putting out more good energy than bad? Do you smile as much as you should? Do you shy away from the hard stuff?
If you found out you would die at the end of the day, would you be satisfied with how you have treated people?...how much you loved or didn't love?....did you embrace life as much as you should have?
Ask yourself the hard questions regularly.....
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
September is here....I can feel the change in the air....in so many different ways.
Last night was the first night since Casper died that I have dreamed of him......for anyone who knows me well, knows that I dream several dreams a night and I remember them all....I dream of ones that have passed on ALL THE TIME. So, I was surprised that Casper who is usually in my dreams every night, stopped being in them once he died...........it actually made me sad. Last night was difficult, as usual, falling to sleep........I really sat with how I felt last night....accepted that I was aching...missing....hurting....tight heart ache....so then what happens last night/this morning?.....yep, I dream about Casper.....and I woke up with the ache less.....a loosening of the tenseness in my heart.....
Today is also the first day I am really listening to music.....I am also able to love on the cats around here without feeling sad or like I'm betraying Casper somehow.....
Anyway.....I know I am mentioning this every post....but I am fascinated by how we can choose to embrace our emotions or the opposite ...fight them.....the way we move through what we experience in life is key....the way we cope...the way we grieve....express sadness....joy.....heartache.....love....the way we withhold love or give it.....it's fascinating. The more aware of how we as individuals express ourselves moment by moment is something we should pay attention to.....notice how you react when someone hugs you...do you give in or tense up?......what about when you receive a compliment?.....do you accept it humbly or make excuses as to why you don't deserve it, or are you embarrassed?........These type of things may seem trivial....but they matter more than all these other "things" we give value to.
I am determined to give in more.....to love more.....to share more.....to hug more....to show my appreciation more.......I don't do those things enough......
We have this moment....this moment only.....what will you choose to do with it?