becoming vegetarian...no wait....being vegetarian

i woke up thinking about making a Peach and Blackberry Galette from Pastry Affair.  in my case though, i will be using blueberries since i seemed to have consumed any blackberries i had....within an hour of bringing them home.....as always. 

yesterday i made spicy black bean (and spinach, rice, garlic, cilantro) burgers/patties for me...but i also prepared tilapia for those non vegetarian folks....i about gagged.  now gagging (exaggeration but cringing for sure) is nothing new to me while preparing raw meat...and sometimes even eating cooked meat....but this was something new. i truly wanted no part in preparing this food...even though it's fish that was in freezer, already bought before i quit eating meat...so there was no guilt having bought it for this purpose.   i just truly don't want it anymore.  that's not to say that there won't be another time that meat will be tempting to me....but yesterday was not the time.

so my point being in mentioning the peach and blackberry galette, then mentioning the food i prepared yesterday is that my cravings are changing.....and it fascinates me to see what my body is doing without my consent so to speak.  it even delights me and makes me giggle when i wake up thinking about a galette instead of bacon. (just please don't tempt me with bacon right now....not sure i'm over that temptation)

i am happy these days....i make new recipes, try new foods, constantly pouring over vegetarian websites.....going to the grocery store is now a new adventure....my mindset is different and the old habits are broken with new habits to create.  skipping over the meat aisles make me see the store in a whole new light.    the guilt i have always felt from buying meat is now gone......who knew that it was taking up so much space in who i am?.....ahhh, the power of old habits.

for right now, my intake of cheesy things has gone up....this i hope fades in time.  bread is a staple now which has never been the case for me.  i am not a bread craver....well, i never was.   i find i get hungry way more now.  i also wake up crazy hungry which never used to happen.  i never thought i would be excited to eat my black bean burgers instead of the fish prepared with lemon and butter.  who knew?....and isn't that the exciting part of life?......changing.....becoming someone else all the time....well, that is if we are lucky.....we get closer to OUR truth....the person we hope to be....the person we were meant to be. 

happy day after the 4th folks!  may you set yourself free from whatever holds you back!