dilemma

my dilemma has always been a desire to have a home that is comfy-inviting-well stocked-ready to entertain guests-warm-with fun decor/kitchenware/etc OR simplifying my belongings down to the bare necessities ready to welcome change, new location, travel, etc. I have battled this for years. I want to be able to pack up and go somewhere at the drop of a hat...but my messy disorganized has-too-much-stuff self continues to hold me back. or maybe it's just being disorganized that encumbers me.
i vow from here on out to rid my life of the random things i have....even if they are books, or nifty things that i do use occasionally....i don't NEED all the colorful oh so fun bowls/plates/etc that i adore looking at but really truly only create problems with finding space for them. these things don't define me....they don't make me cool, or more prepared, or anything at all, except more weighed down. if i read a book, i will pass it on to someone else. if i have art supplies i haven't used in months i will either make the time to use them or i will give them to someone that will....(this is a hard one cause sometimes i have things for over a year and then find the *perfect* crafty thing to do with them).
as a person who enjoys changing it up every now and then (repainting a wall a different color, repainting furniture to suit my mood, change out kitchen plates and mugs i use, curtains, etc), this will be a hard task to accomplish. but i will. in the long run it isn't going to matter what material things i've surrounded myself with, but whom i surround myself with...what decisions i make to make my life more joyful and positive, how i challenge my own personal growth as i get older, what risks i choose to take......this is what i want my life to be....and if getting rid of objects that hold no significance hold the key in exploring that more then so be it.
the thing is, is that i'm not married, i have no kids, i have no real obligations that are holding me back. i have only myself that does. the desire to have a family or a home hasn't increased as i've gotten older (though some still insist that i'm in denial...whatever), the only thing that has is the deep embedded soulful desire to explore, to see, to do, to be out in nature, to be on the road, to share, to love, to be happy........i have no idealistic ideas or romantic notions that this will drastically change my life.....i only have a desire to be at peace with the world around me.....anyway, this is what's on my mind this sunny Sunday afternoon.....

10 things i love about fall...

1. the color orange that is in pumpkins, the changing leaves on trees, flowering mums, and sweet potato casserole!

2. anticipation of thanksgiving food

3. the smell of school supplies and start of school....books, pencils, crayons, freshly cut grass on football fields

4. windows open in the car and house

5. the planting of bulbs to bloom in spring

6. roasting marshmallows

7. building fires...burning leaves..and the smell of it all

8. corn mazes!!

9. hot chocolate

10. reading more books

The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck.
-r.w. emerson

lots of thoughts brewing these days. opening gates...and striking the strings. more living, and less writing.

it is what it is...

what we do with our time is everything; how we spend it....who we spend it with....what we choose to see when we look out into the world. do we see the litter on the ground? or the flower coming through the sidewalk crack? or are we one of the lucky ones that choose to see both, but focus on the flower anyway? one of my favorite sayings is "it is what it is".....this statement doesn't mean we can't change things, but for me it means exactly what it sounds like....it is what it is....i can accept it and then decide what to do from that moment on. i choose my reaction and my viewpoint. some people go through life thinking that it's supposed to be perfect, that we are meant to be happy all the time, that if we suffer we must not be doing something right. it's absurd. life isn't always fair, we don't always get what we want, things happen we have no control over......it is what it is.....it's deciding to experience joy when it presents itself that matters.....and if it isn't given to us we create it....although in most cases, it is handed to us but we just have to be more aware and appreciative when it shows up on our doorstep. take that joy and hold onto it cause the suffering will inevitably come....a mixture of both...that is a life.

monday sermon....

(emily - dress on backwards - love it)

i suppose we decide for ourselves how our day will pan out. will we let the dogs who incessantly bark all night and into the morning despite the fact we tried to sleep peacefully with the windows open to enjoy the upcoming fall night air ruin our morning? will we let the wrong number that dialed our phone at 7am put us in a bad mood? when we wake up and trip over the carpet (don't know how i managed this) will it piss us off?

i've decided to brush those things away, and try to be in a good mood anyway...or at least a pleasant one. when you create all day it doesn't do much good to be crabby...in fact it's almost impossible to accomplish anything creative when you feel like that (at least it is for me-unless i'm painting or drawing).

i've done my best over the years to change how i react to situations. i can't control the fact that my neighbors dogs bark, or someone calling my phone, or the ridiculously placed carpet (not really but i tripped nonetheless) - but i can control my behavior when these things happen.

i believe we are our reactions....especially as we get older. getting in control over this is key to a more joyful and pleasant life.

okay, preaching is done for the day.

anticipating fall...

i woke up this morning with a clear sensation in my body that fall is approaching. i got overly excited....added pumpkin spice to my coffee grounds and pressed start. then i opened the windows and low and behold it's still summer in georgia. at least my body knows fall will arrive soon - even if it does just mean only opening the windows at night at first.

i feel the need to go out and buy loads of cinnamon candles, banana nut bread, french vanilla coffee, flannel shirts, funky fun colorful socks. though i am truly a summer, go barefoot, wear tank tops, bask in the warm sun kind of girl, i do LOVE the stirring of sensations you feel deep in your core when the seasons change. plus i am looking forward to roasting marshmallows at the firepit and enjoying the hot tub, feeling the brisk cool fall night air on my face. i am getting giddy just thinking of it.

on another note, i have been adding loads of new stuff to the Etsy Shop -

what i know...

we are meant to love each other. to share in each other's life. to connect. to share pain, sorrow, joys, and triumphs. our lives are meant to learn this. to evolve into a bigger understanding of this. this is why we are here.