Sunday, October 11, 2009
my dilemma has always been a desire to have a home that is comfy-inviting-well stocked-ready to entertain guests-warm-with fun decor/kitchenware/etc OR simplifying my belongings down to the bare necessities ready to welcome change, new location, travel, etc. I have battled this for years. I want to be able to pack up and go somewhere at the drop of a hat...but my messy disorganized has-too-much-stuff self continues to hold me back. or maybe it's just being disorganized that encumbers me.
i vow from here on out to rid my life of the random things i have....even if they are books, or nifty things that i do use occasionally....i don't NEED all the colorful oh so fun bowls/plates/etc that i adore looking at but really truly only create problems with finding space for them. these things don't define me....they don't make me cool, or more prepared, or anything at all, except more weighed down. if i read a book, i will pass it on to someone else. if i have art supplies i haven't used in months i will either make the time to use them or i will give them to someone that will....(this is a hard one cause sometimes i have things for over a year and then find the *perfect* crafty thing to do with them).
as a person who enjoys changing it up every now and then (repainting a wall a different color, repainting furniture to suit my mood, change out kitchen plates and mugs i use, curtains, etc), this will be a hard task to accomplish. but i will. in the long run it isn't going to matter what material things i've surrounded myself with, but whom i surround myself with...what decisions i make to make my life more joyful and positive, how i challenge my own personal growth as i get older, what risks i choose to take......this is what i want my life to be....and if getting rid of objects that hold no significance hold the key in exploring that more then so be it.
the thing is, is that i'm not married, i have no kids, i have no real obligations that are holding me back. i have only myself that does. the desire to have a family or a home hasn't increased as i've gotten older (though some still insist that i'm in denial...whatever), the only thing that has is the deep embedded soulful desire to explore, to see, to do, to be out in nature, to be on the road, to share, to love, to be happy........i have no idealistic ideas or romantic notions that this will drastically change my life.....i only have a desire to be at peace with the world around me.....anyway, this is what's on my mind this sunny Sunday afternoon.....