Monday, February 16, 2009
WHAT IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO
I go through phases; restless, or pretty content. There is usually no in between. Lately it's been the restless phase. Nothing seems to keep my attention, no food satisfies me, a constant state of craving something that I don't know what it is...food speaking and life speaking. These are the days that I want to rid myself of belongings..which leads to many goodwill boxes, change something physically about me (through hair cuts, hair dyes, clothes, something), a longing to free myself of attachments, I usually distance myself from the people in my life....the withdrawal usually stems from the need to recharge, the need to center myself....lots of behaviors that go on in the restless phase. Though some might see this as an unhealthy behavior....I have learned to see it as an amazing opportunity to "reboot" so to speak. Yes, it's frustrating to me and especially to those in my life, but it's absolutely necessary. It enables me to see where I need to simplify my life, or what area I need to add some fire to. A process of reevaluation can be a good thing. Where am I at? What direction do I want to be heading in? What can I let go of? What do I need to bring into my life? Am I happy or do I need to rethink what I thought I wanted? Am I being true to who I am, and most importantly, are my behaviors and daily activities benefiting me in healthy ways?
All of this is pointless though if my expectations of life, or expectations I place on others are unrealistic and too demanding. Honestly you can hope for the best, but we have no control over what life brings us for the most part. We can only react to the situations that play out in our life. It's a beautiful thing indeed.
"The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."