wash me clean...

we have to be open to letting anything and everything change us....or affect us is perhaps the phrase to use instead.....none of this 'on the surface' shit.  i don't want to skim on the water like a rock being skipped on smooth still ponds....i yearn to be washed over and cleansed by massive waves and torrential rains of a hurricane.  

it's hard to dance with the devil on your back...

i sometimes forget to have fun.  i get so deeply involved in trying to be a better person that i forget to just let go and let life flow.  in the midst of telling myself every day to be more loving, less critical, more at ease, less judgmental of others, i realize i am completely immersed in being mean, critical, unkind, and judgmental of myself....which in turn expands any kind of feelings of being inadequate.  enough is enough right?  i understand now that i get so caught up in that future potential that i don't allow myself to just be the me i am right now.  no more dragging that horse around.....i'm gonna shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out....

history of meat eating if you please

It's been half a year with no meat consumption.    Yes, I've lost weight...but only after figuring out the healthiest way to be vegetarian (and I'm still learning).  Yes, I have more energy.  Yes, it does make it hard to eat out.  I have found it is very hard to be vegetarian in the South; everything revolves around meat.  Even if something doesn't have meat in it, it is usually flavored with meat or meat is cooked in it....it starts with meat somehow.  

As the season change, I am struggling (my body is) to adjust to vegetarianism once again.  The comfort foods I am so used to making in the Fall are not in alignment with who I am anymore....chicken and dumplings, chili, grilling meat outside, bbq in the crockpot all day..and so on.  It's as if my body remembers how I eat when Summer turns to Fall....is this possible?   In my curiosity to find this out I have stumbled on so much research about how our bodies have evolved to eat meat....even our jaws/teeth have been drastically changed.  

It has led me to be more inquisitive about the history of meat eating...and how it affects humans/animals/the world....how we all have evolved from it...benefits and/or harmful disadvantages.   I'm fascinated by it all now.  If you have any links/articles/books/etc that might aid in my interest, please feel free to inform me.